Rugby humor from new Zealand
|Two guys from Invercargill die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in swannies, mittens and balaclavas warming themselves around the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Invercargill, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just Happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in swannies, mittens and balaclavas
The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"
Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Invercargill, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Invercargill and finds them in "T" shirts, footie shorts and jandals drinking a speights and cooking a "barbie"
The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Southlanders reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather down there in Invercargill so we've just got to have a cook-up when the weather's THIS nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Southlanders. He gets there and finds them back in their swannies, mittens and balaclavas. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!
The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"
The Southlanders look at the devil in surprise,
"Well, don't you know? If hell freezes over, it must mean that Southland has won the N.P.C rugby
|The family of Auckland Blues Rugby supporters head out shopping one Saturday before Christmas.
While in a sport shop, the son picks up a Crusaders rugby jersey and says to his sister, "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I'd like this jersey for Christmas!"
The sister is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother."
Off goes the little lad, with Crusaders jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mum","Yes, son ?", "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I'd like this jersey for Christmas."
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your father."
Off he goes with the Crusaders jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad." "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Crusaders supporter and I would like this jersey for Christmas."
The father is outraged at this, promptly whacks his son round the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home. The father turns to the son and says, "Son, I hope you've learned an important lesson today?" The son turns to his father and says, "Yes, Father, I have". Father says,"Good son, and what is it?"
The son replies "I've only been a Crusaders supporter for an hour and already I hate you Auckland bastards!!!"